Sometimes we’re accused of being bullies not because we’re actually angry with anyone, but because everything is wrong and no-one seems able to sort it – and if it comes to you to sort the problem out yet again, then getting angry and frustrated is likely.
If you’re being accused of being narcissistic – a bully – then reconsider the approach you’re taking to your own self. What are you asking of yourself that’s beyond standard, beyond the usual? Are you under pressure because you’re the only person on the team who can? Are you the person all the responsibility lands with? Are you the person who will have to tell the family, the doctor, the patient what’s gone wrong while someone else shirks that responsibility?
Or maybe you’re the person being bullied; maybe it’s you who’s coping a mouthful of foul?
Either way, it’s time to come back to centre.
Bullying is almost always a statement of judgement – I judge you to be inferior, wrong, bad, or whatever, and I judge myself to be superior, right, good, and so on. We know that anger only lasts 15 minutes, after that the feeling becomes a judgement of ethical superiority.
So what’s the judgement that’s occurring in this situation? If both parties can be cognizant of each other’s perspective then a way forward can be reached. But only if both choose to work together on this
Choose to work together, choose to face off with the problem rather than face off with each other.
